What's missing?

My life and way of thinking have changed a lot... in not the same stupid girl anymore... I could be considered that I got used to Mexico again.

If I do a list of what activities I've done I would say:

* I got graduated and my diploma is in process
* I got a steady job
* I started to study japanese and I finished the first level
* I lost some weight
* I started to go to the gym
* I went twice to Mexico City in less than 3 months
* I started a laser depilation (yey! I will never shave certain parts of my body again)
* I applied for another scholarship in Japan
* I bought a new bike to do some exercise
* Etc

Nevertheless I still there's something missing. I dont know exactly what, but Im not totally happy...

During this time I found out that I was born to be alone... why Am I so dramatic ? not exactly dramatic, but I've got a lot of things to do... I want to travel around the world, I want to meet more people, I wanna get lost in a remote place and learn about other cultures...
But for that I need to save some money

Dravin, my nepalese friend told me that he's coming with me, but Im not sure, it could be cool to share those experiences with more than one person...

I feel a bit confused because I fell a certain disgust for men... I mean they can be my friends but if they look for something else I really get mad... but the opportunities I've had 2 be with someone had been minimal...
is so confusing cuz I dont like men and I dont want to start a relationship but at the same time I feel so ugly because nobody likes me

I cant deny that I feel lonely some times... but I dont want to be hurt again, I will never love nobody because I've already suffered so much .. there is nothing in my heart... it's simply empty because I threw away all of my feelings...

I cant hate but I cant love either ... thats my new way of thinking